Major League Pitcher and Published Poet? So You're Saying There's a Chance?

Not only does Miguel Batista want you to read - he wants you to read Sentimientos en Blanco y Negro.

The other night I was watching the Seattle Mariners play against my beloved Red Sox, when new-to-the-booth color commentator Dave Roberts mentioned something very curious about Miguel Batista, the Mariners' pitcher.  On the mound, there is really nothing spectacular about this guy: he pitched the last three innings of a 5-3 loss to the Sox, surrendering 2 hits and 2 walks and also hitting a batter.   Over the course of his 15-year Major League career, Batista's numbers are pedestrian at best.  His career record stands at 90-104 in 488 games (237 starts), and his career ERA is nothing special at 4.54.  He strikes out only 5.8 men per 9 innings, and his career WHIP is nearly 1.5.  What's so special about this pitcher then?  Well, aside from the fact that he was a member of the 2001 World Series Champion Arizona Diamondbacks, he's also a published poet. 

I can't seem to find a copy of his book anywhere online, but I've read that it's a Spanish book of poetry entitled Sentimientos en Blanco y Negro ("Feelings in Black and White").  Now, not to sound pretentious at all, but any time a poet includes the word "feelings" anywhere in a title, it's usually a very poor sign of things to come.  To be fair, I haven't read any of Batista's work (and probably won't given the scarcity of the pitcher-poet book market), but I've found the following verses online:

I would like the power to save

the souls in agony

who sustain the hope

of improving some day.

To me, this isn't the most inspiring scrap of a poem I've ever read, but hey, it's from a guy who can get outs against Major League batters!  Do you understand how unique that is?  This is a guy who's able to mix his fastball with a little dactylic hexameter.  On a good day, this guy pitch against the best lineup in the league, and then for a nightcap he could write a poem on the back of a receipt for Taco Bell while riding in the team jet.  

When searching for a particular poem that he published online back in 1998 (titled "Do You Remember?"), I came across this site where people are discussing whether or not they would date this pitcher-poet.  This guy can cover all sorts of ground - he's not just appealing to the women who are into the macho sports figure, but he can also appeal to bookish, sensitive women.  He has unlocked the true secrets of getting laid.

That is, until the ladies come across his latest work, a thriller novel about a 14-year-old serial killer.  Uhh, Miguel, that's not so cool.  The ladies don't want to hear that.  They want poetry.  A story that will always stick with me is from Charles Simic's collection of essays, Orphan Factory.  Simic describes a scene when he had a long talk with Robert Lowell about 19th-century French poetry.  Lowell had two groupies sitting at his feet while he spoke, and they hung on to his every word as he caressed their necks and eventually slid his hand down inside their dresses and felt their breasts.  If Lowell could throw a 90-mph heater, he probably would've made it to third base while still maintaining a discussion about the finer points of Baudelaire's work.